News from June 10, 2001

AI

A time when natural resources are limited. Technology has advanced at and exorbitant pace. Every aspect of your life is monitored. Your food is genetically enhanced. And the person who serves you, does your housekeeping, tends your gardens and provides companionship… they are not human at all. Engineers at Cybertronics Manufacturing and other facilities have created a specialized artificial intelligence for your every need. Except for love. Emotion has become the final and very controversial boundary in the evolution of robot capabilities.

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Dark Savant’s Gonna Smack Your Bitch Up

Good morning, all two of you.

I was just sitting here, listening to Kid Rock’s “Bawitaba” or whatever, drinking a Coors laced with 5-MEO extract, and I had a masterful idea. You see, like every other bored film know-it-all who grew up during the Grunge age, I zone out on MTV when I need a creative black hole to fill my soul. I watch MTV’s directors like a talent scout, trying to pigeonhole who will be the next great Camera Wizard.

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Lemming Report #83,938,234,107

As we reported a few days ago, some freak in the Sony Pictures advertising department created a fake reviewer to quote in ads for Hollow Man and A Knight’s Tale, since these pieces of shit couldn’t get good reviews on their own.

According to the Associated Press, two moviegoers have filed a class action lawsuit against Sony Pictures, claiming they were fooled into seeing the movie, A Knight’s Tale by ads containing quotes from phony reviewer David Manning.

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Who Wants To Be A Drunken Irishman and other rants

Sometimes I wonder what the hell I am doing here.

It’s damn near 3AM as I sit and write this. I need to be at work in five and a half hours, but instead of getting the beauty sleep I so desperately need, I’m sitting at my desk, listening to Camper Van Beethoven, lighting up God only know what number cigarette of the night and bitching about my inability to do anything to the few people even know this damn site exists.

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News from June 1, 2001

The Washington Post yesterday reports on a study by MarketCast which estimates ticket sales for R rated features are down as much as 30% since the whole Lieberman crap began last year. The study concluded that “significant numbers” of children under 17, principally younger girls, were being deterred from seeing R-rated movies such as The Mexican and Angel Eyes, causing them to lose a major share of the audience that ordinarily would have been attracted to them. The report, however, seemingly failed to notice that the two of the top three films released this year as of this writing, Hannibal and Traffic, were handed R ratings. Granted, neither of them are primarily aimed at the allegedly all important teen audience. But neither were Gladiator or Bridget Jones’s Diary, and they didn’t have much of a problem sustaining long term business. Maybe, and I know I am going out on a limb here, the quality or perceived quality of the film is more important when it comes to R rated films than how many dick jokes and tit shots there might be.

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News from May 30, 2001

Brother, Can You Spare $25M?

In all the fucking poo-pooing for Pearl Harbor not grossing seven hundred billion dollars this past weekend, very few people have noticed that this past weekend became the biggest weekend ever for movies. With the top two films combining for nearly $130M in ticket sales, this past weekend beat be the previous record holder, last Memorial Day weekend, by about $5M in ticket sales.

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