DickHollywood was last heard from several weeks ago, shortly before arriving in Vegas for this year’s CineVegas Film Festival. Today, our mutual friend Randolph Rhodes dropped us a line to give us a clue as to the mystery of what happened to Dick in Sin City…
Day 1 “Arrives and Conquers”
Randolph R. Rhodes – “So Dick, how many days were you in Vegas this timer”
Dick Hollywood- “Flew in on Thursday and left late the following Monday. It was short, but sweet but I was still able to hit many of the best parties the festival had to offer.”
RRR – “Word has it that you were in rare form on Thursday night at Moon and The Playboy Club in the Palms.”
DH – Dick Hollywood is always in rare form. That is who I am! Don’t you know who I amr I am Dick Hollywood! As soon as I arrived at the Palms, my friends Kris and Ramona told me we were to meet with Trevor and get in line for the party at Moon. With my head already filled with Whiskey and Beer, I was ready and willing to go big.” Trevor is the Artistic Director of the fest and he got us in to the party swiftly. We entered the Night Club and went immediately out to the patio, for the “amazing” view of the Strip. Enough with the “amazing” view I say, let’s get this party rolling!
RRR – So far this sounds pretty tame for Dick Hollywood.
DH – Tamer Tamer Don’t you know who I amr I am Dick Hollywood! Parties are always tame until I arrive. I was ready to roll, so I slipped myself a Mickey of pure MDMA and then handed a capsule to Kris for he and Ramona to split. Within 30 minutes I was feeling super duper good and then I was really rolling!
RRR – Rollingr
DH – I was about to become a full on E-Tard. I began to gnaw on my own tongue, grind my teeth, and started sweatin’ bullets. It was hard to keep my eyes open at times and I almost threw up walking to the bathroom. Good Times! I quickly found my E-Tard cohorts, or they found me, and we moved on downstairs to the Playboy Club.
RRR – You were drunkr
DH – Whatr No dummy! I took a hit of Ecstasy and it hit me with a fuckin’ bang. Almost fell down when I was peaking. It was pretty overwhelming, if I do say so myself. I sat down next To Ramona at a Video Keno machine, plopped in twenty bucks, and hit a 4 Spot for $100.00. I redeemed the ticket right away and gave it immediately to Kris, since I owed him $100.00 from our last Vegas blast. My luck had just begun. Luck with the Cards, Roulette Wheel, and the Ladies.
RRR – So how was the Playboy Clubr
DH – Bunnies were bouncing to and fro, bunnies were dealing cards, and bunnies were serving drinks. Bunnies were bountiful. Gotta love the bunnies! Kris and Ramona were off doing their own thing, so I was left alone to my own demise. I went back upstairs to Moon. Danced a bit with the ladies, enjoyed the “amazing” view again, which by this time really had become super duper amazing, tripped over people and stepped on their feet. I tried to see what time it actually was, but my eyes were useless as I could not focus on the numbers of my cell phone. That’s when I thought it would be a great idea to kick it up a notch, so I took a second capsule.
RRR – Morer
DH – Well why the hell notr I am in Vegas for the 10th CineVegas Film Festival and I am at a cool party with hot scantily clad chicks who are at least drunk and ready to party. I might as well join in the festivities and go along for the ride. As the saying goes, ‘When in Rome’. Kris and Ramona come back into my life for a little while. We have a drink, laugh, and I freak them out again so they split. Next thing I know I am on the dance floor again, dancing with two girls. One with a tall red mohawk and the other a brunette with short hair who kept flashing people her boobs. Within a flash it is 4am and the club is closing. We all end up in the elevator together and the flashing girl continues her peep show routine. I was grinning from ear to ear as my jaw and teeth were still chattering. My pupils must have been the size of golf balls.
RRR – Yes, but this Festival is fast becoming a prestigious Indie-Fest, so what does all of this have to do with you being here and just wanting to hang out at the partiesr
DH – This is Vegas baby, Vegas! This is why they hold the festival here. The flicks are all good and stuff, but I am here to party, write about the parties, play some poker and maybe if I am lucky, catch a film or two. I am Dick Hollywood after all. This is what I do! It was 4am and I was going to head back to my room to the Sahara, when the Roulette wheel pulled me in with her evil hypnotizing ways. I was betting the numbers on wheel as usual. I like to play the number 13 and the five numbers to the left and the five to the right of it on the wheel. It just so happened to be Friday the 13th so I kept exclaiming that it was my lucky day and 13 was my lucky number so we should all be betting on it. I ended up hitting the number 13 about 4 times and walked away from the table up a winner that morning. So, I finally get to bed around 6am, and was looking forward to another fine day of parties.
Day 2 “Pools and More Pools”
RRR – So were you able to catch any films on Fridayr
DH – Well let me tell you what happened. I had to go and pick up my Press Credentials, party passes, and move tickets at the CineVegas HQ. There was a mix up earlier in the week, when I found out the Edward from FilmJerk (Ol’ God Himself) sent my info into the Press People by snail mail and not electronically like they prefer, I had to scramble a few days before I left to get it all sorted out. So, when I went to pick everything up, it still had not been all been sorted out and they asked me to wait so they could print everything up. They were very helpful, but my head felt like it was going to explode and I needed a drink right away. I got all of my credentials and passes and then met Kris and Ramona at a Mexican restaurant next to the Palms Pool. It was much crowed and the service was slow, slow, slow. Kris and I ordered the “BIG” margarita, which was about the size of my head, but ended up with barely enough tequila to get my buzz on and my pounding in the brain to stop. After lunch we headed to the pool for the Ditch Fridays Party, and I must admit that this Pool Party was going off!
RRR – How sor
DH – To quote the Beastie Boys – “Girls, all I really want is girls” Girls were everywhere. From hot servers, bartenders, loungers, Tropicana sun screen peddlers and party goers. All of the young ladies, wearing as little attire as possible. I have to admit that it was quite nice. I even was persuaded by Kris and Ramona to take off my shirt and splash around in the pool. The liquid courage kicks in and I begin chatting with the bikini clad young vixens. Mended getting a number, in putting it into my phone, but pulled a Dick Hollywood and forgot to save it. No Biggie!
RRR – And after thatr
DH – Dinner at Little Buddha Bar was delicious. I was going to go see a flick called ‘Your Name Here’, starring Bill Pullman, but I was hitting my numbers again at the roulette table, so I opted to keep playing and meet up with Kris, Ramona and Andy, my wingman for the night later at the new Palms Pool, for a late night party. There were celebrity guests everywhere including Bill Pullman, Thomas Morris, Traci Lords, Ivana Milicevic, Gabriel Mann, Fred Armisen, Mimi Rogers, Nathan Burton, Natalie Gulbis and Gregory Popovich, but I saw none of them. Who really cares when you are Dick Hollywood!
RRR – Come on Dick. Quit holding out. What celebrity did you end up seeingr
DH – The kind of celebrity you really don’t want to mention or have at a party anymore. There was a huge crowd around a cabana with 4 or 5 huge bodyguards surrounding it and Ramona pointed out that it was Britney Spears, and low and behold she was right. I mean, why Britney Spears is even at this party, I have not the faintest idea. She has nothing to do with CineVegas or is involved in any of the movies that were showing. A quick glance her way and we moved onto the bar. Later, while grabbing another drink, I was chatting with have some lil’ blondie and she was pretty miffed that she could not get into the women’s bathroom. There were a few very large bodyguards blocking the entrance, because Miss Britney was doing her business in there, and nobody else was allowed to enter, while she was in there. I started exclaiming, ‘What’s the matter Britney… to good for the rest of the ladies. This is not even your party Britney!’ or something to that extent.
RRR – Weren’t you afraid of getting kicked out or roughed up by her bodyguardsr
DH – Nah… Don’t you know who I amr I am Dick Hollywood!
RRR – Anything else worth mentioningr
DH – Everything I have to say is always worth mentioning. I met a very nice girl named Vanessa with a beautiful tattooed arm sleeve. She looked a lot like a young Denise Richards. Danced with a lovely UNLV student named Christina. She challenged me to dance with the solo crazy woman on the dance floor, and I said to myself, ‘fuck it why not’. After I passed her challenge, I asked for her number and invited her to a movie on Saturday night. Then headed back to the casino and played some more Roulette with a bunch of young ladies from Orange County, CA. Many drinks and lost dollars later, and it was my time to finally sleep again.
Day 3 “Death Would Be Easier”
RRR – It’s Saturday and you have gone at it pretty strong for two nights in a row. Can you keep going at this pacer
DH – Well I would like to believe so, but Ol’ Dick Hollywood isn’t getting any younger. I awake with the worst hangover feeling in a long time. Head hurts, stomach is queasy, hard to walk and I believe that death might be easier. Long story short, I was bedridden until the CineVegas Party by the main Palms Pool. Missed all the films I wanted to see and met up with Kris and Ramona for some beer and good music poolside. Bijou Phillips sang a couple songs with the band that was feature in a film called Dark Streets. As I was sitting by the pool, I noticed Vanessa with the cool arm sleeve working the party again. She spotted, waved and walked over to chat with me again. We talked for awhile, I saw her again later and talked some more, and then she was gone. Oh well, no biggie. We then proceeded to an after party in the one of the Pool Cabanas, a two story apartment with a patio and balcony. We all had a couple of more drinks, but the party was kind of cramped and dull, so we moved across the street to play some Texas Hold Em Poker. After doubling my money at a different table from Kris and Ramona, we meet up with Andy again and head over to the Sapphire Gentleman’s Club for some booze and boobs. Kris and I lose Andy quite quickly, as he and is new friend step into the “VIP” room for some dances. The dollar bills spill out of our hands and onto the stage. ‘There will be no SEX in the Champagne Room’, or so the bouncers tell me as they escort me out of the club. I keep yelling,’ but don’t you know who I amr I am Dick Hollywood! I am Dick Hollywood!
Day 4 – “The time has come to see a Movie”
RRR – It is Sunday and you still have yet to see any of the Films that CineVegas has to offer. What do you have to say for yourselfr
DH – I did not come here for the Movies, I came here for the Parties. I repeat I did not come here for the Movies; I came here for the Parties! That being said, Kris and Ramona were going to go to The Hard Rock Pool this morning for the Rehab Party. $40.00 to get in and a cab ride there, did not sound appealing to me, so I stayed at my hotel, had some breakfast and walked over to an Old School Mini Casino ‘Slots of Fun’ , located next to Circus Circus. Played blackjack with a couple from the Mid West, called my Dad and wished him a happy Father’s Day, drank some more beer and then headed over the CineVegas HQ for Happy Hour and a Movie!
RRR – Well it is about time!
DH – Yeah, yeah, I know… The Happy Hour at the HQ was packed. Free booze and food, live music, Eastern Block women playing ping pong. I mean, who could ask for anything more. I wanted to keep my buzz intact, so I started with a vodka drink and then moved onto beer. Chatted with Tess Mix, an Actress in the film Memorial Day, which I was going to see in an hour, then played some ping pong with the Eastern Block chicks. Had another beer and got a vodka cranberry to go to take into the flick with me.
RRR – You can take alcohol into the film with your
DH – You keep forgetting Randolph, that this is CineVegas Baby, Vegas!
RRR – So what were you expecting when you watched Josh Fox’s Memorial Dayr
DH – Did not know much about it going into it and it ended up blowing me away. Half of the audience walked out of it, before the film had a chance to move from uncomfortable to really uncomfortable. I really liked the flick and hope it finds some type of release.
RRR – Anymore parties after the film, or were you finally partied outr
DH – Hahahaha… Finally all partied out. That’s a good one. Don’t you know who I amr I am Dick Hollywood! The after party was at a restaurant called Dos Caminos. I had a chance to talk to Josh Fox, Writer/Director of Memorial Day and too many of his cast members. Kris, Ramona and I decide to check out some other casino and then meet up with Trevor at another after party in some Super Suite at the Palms.
RRR – Super Suiter
DH – Yes a Super Suite and it was super sweet! It has two bowling lanes with bowling shoes in every size available for guests. A poker table, pool table, full bar with 2 bartenders, etc. Morgan Spurlock the director of Documentary Supersize Me was in the middle of a heated poker game, the bowling lanes were backed up with people wanting to bowl and with the pool table not in use; we opt to play some pool. I had been chatting with some young gal who went by the name of Ducky and recruited her as my teammate to crush the competition of Kris and Ramona. With my beer goggles were on, it was very hard to get the balls into the extremely small pockets, but I gave it my best. Ducky turned out to be some neo-hippie traveler pool hustler, so we were able to take down our competition quickly.
RRR – This is a silly question, but I would like to know why she had the nickname Duckyr
DH – Hahahaha… So did I and I ask herr She told me that when she was born she had a lot of baby hair covering her body like a duckling, so she called her Ducky. Ahhhh my little Ducky, I will remember our night together well.
RRR – So all in do you think you accomplished what you set out to accomplishr
DH – Don’t you know who I amr I am Dick Hollywood