Dick’s Picks for 2004

Every January, we get to read all of these learned critics espouse upon what they felt were the greatest artistic merits in cinema for the previous year. Yeah yeah yeah. But what about us ordinary Joes? The ones who could give a crap if a shot in The Terminal is reminiscent of something the writer once saw in some Ukranian movie from 1956 you and I would never see because we don’t get paid to sit on our keisters and watch movies at film festivals all year long. So without further ado, here are The Real Dick Hollywood’s Cream of the Crop Top Ten Films of 2004 and a few more that just missed the boat…

1. Shaun of the Dead: Best Romantic Comedy with Zombies ever!
2. Kill Bill Vol. 2: Should win a special Oscar for “Best Cat Fight”.
3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: Kaufman, Kaufman, Kaufman…
4. Zatoichi: Hero Schmero… Bring on The line-dancing Samurai.
5. Fahrenheit 911: Bush Sucks!
6. Spider-Man 2: Doc Ock Rocks…
7. Baadasssss!: A Father A Son A Revolution and Earth Wind and Fire
8. Bad Education: Tranny Neo-Noir at its darkly funniest.
9. Gozu: More of Miike’s Imaginative Mothers Milk Madness
10. Napoleon Dynamite: Tetherball Rules!

And the others that were friggin’ sweet: Beyond Sunset, Collateral, Criminal, The Incredibles and Touching the Void

All I know is that 2005 sees the first Dead movie from George A. Romero in twenty years, which already makes this the best movie year in twenty years.