How satirical is it the same week People Magazine reports that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez have broken up that word has come to us that Affleck’s newest project, titled “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past,” is now moving to the casting phase of production.
According to FilmJerk.com sources, filming will begin mid-November in Los Angeles, which will make this Affleck’s first new film since the mega-overhyped, now-apparently-cancelled wedding with the actress/singer.
The plot finds cold, callous ladies man Colin Mead (Affleck) – the coolest, well-known fashion photographer, a blend of Herb and Scavullo – reluctant to attend his brother wedding, as he is a firm non-believer in things like love and marriage. Eventually deciding to go, he finds there the former love of his life, Jamie Perotti. Although she still loves him as well, Jamie is too disgusted by his behavior to pursue him seriously. When his antics come close to ruining the wedding, the unrepentant Mead is visited by the Charles Dickens-like “The Ghost of Girlfriends Past.”
Affleck is the only actor signed on to the film at this point, and casting directors now have two months to pull the rest of the cast together. According to official casting descriptions obtained by FilmJerk.com, which are used by talent agents to find the right actress for the part, lead characters up to be cast include:
Jamie Perotti: Described as “a beautiful, strong, warm, funny and extremely competent woman” in her late 20s, she’s the best friend of the woman getting married to the younger brother of Colin Mead (Affleck)— and quite possibly the love of Jamie’s life. Having loved Colin since they were both kids, Jamie has watched him turn from a sensitive boy into a too-cool adult, running from woman to woman, afraid of love. Particularly, her love. Hoping that Colin would change but never really believing it, Jamie’s had a succession of “project boyfriends.” Furious when Colin ruins Sandra and Paul’s wedding, Jamie is equally astonished when a changed Colin suddenly rectifies the disaster he’s made of the wedding–and his own life.
Paul Mead: As nice a guy as his brother Colin is a jerk, he’s on the verge of marrying his true love and he’s invited his outcast brother to his wedding. Having lost his parents when he was 2 and been virtually raised by his brother, who was only 5 years older at the time, Paul loves his brother unconditionally. Trying to overlook the havoc Colin wreaks at the rehearsal dinner, he rises passionately to Colin’s defense when the guests all disparage him. However, Paul draws the line when Colin ruins his relationship with Sandra, and throws him out of the house. The character is listed as being between 22 and 24 years old.
Sandra Volkom: Paul’s bride, also between 22 and 24 years old, is described as “cute, sweet, smart and bride-crazed.” Throughout her tumultuous rehearsal dinner she fights bride-to-be-hysteria – over everything from puny salads to the discovery of Paul’s one infidelity – with muttered instructions to herself to maintain her calm and dignity. Despite her tendency to unravel in crises, of which there are many due to Colin, Sandra is ultimately a smart, loving woman with a good sense of humor, who quickly recovers her equilibrium. After calling off the wedding in response to the news that Paul was once unfaithful to her with one of her bridesmaids, Sandra reveals the depth of her love and forgiveness when Colin convinces her to take Paul back.
Sergeant Volkom: Sandra’s dad is the minister at the wedding and also a Sergeant in the 121st Air Wing in the United States Navy. A tough, by-the-book guy with a huge soft spot for his daughter, he has super-organized the wedding, down to a scale model of the seating plan with tiny soldier figures representing guests. When the wedding is called off, he’s set to spirit away his daughter, until physically prevented by a desperate Colin– whose intervention the Sergeant actually admires. The role is listed as being between 60 to 65 years old.
Deena the Bridesmaid: Another 20-something, Deena is the leader of the chorus of bridesmaids from hell. One of one of Sandra’s three Florida-sexy bridesmaids, she is slightly demoralized about being a bridesmaid for the ninth time and is trolling for guys at Sandra and Paul’s wedding. She makes a date to rendezvous with Colin (whom she’s slept with before) and is very disappointed to find his door locked when she goes to meet him— even though, as she later acknowledges to the wedding party, she doesn’t even like him, let alone respect him.
The Ghost of Girlfriends Past: The 15-year-old girl who was at the other end of the date you’d like to forget, the date that would make you cringe today if you met her. She appears to a terrified Colin as the Ghost of Girlfriends Past, the first of three ghosts to visit Colin during the night. Alternately hostile and flirtatious with Colin, she takes him back in time to his first semi-romantic encounters with young Jamie, and the resulting lesson in love learned from his womanizing Uncle Wayne. This particular ghost is actually Allison Vandermeersh, who made out with the ultra-cool 16 year old Colin at a party and believed they were dating for about 8 hours. Her visit makes a telling point about Colin’s problems with women.
The Ghost of Girlfriends Present: This tough, Queen Latifah-like woman is the righteously indignant Ghost of Girlfriends Present who embodies the furious and deadpan. She mercilessly shows him the aftermath of the women he’s callously slept with and dumped, women bad-mouthing him and crying; she also unleashes on his head the tears, the tissues, and the condoms used on his behalf over the years. Colin meets his match and more.
Producers are also looking for two child actors to play Affleck’s character at age 8 and 16 for scenes showing the genesis of his hatred of love and marriage.
Betty Thomas is slated to direct the film based on a script by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, while Affleck’s “Project Greenlight” pal Chris Moore is listed among the producers.
Exec. Producers: Andrew Daviz
Producers: Sean Bailey, Chris Moore and Jonathan Shestack
Director: Betty Thomas
Writers: Jon Lucas & Scott Moore
Casting Directors: Amanda M. Johnson, Cathy S. Gelfond, Wendy Weidman and Sig De Miguel
Start Date: Mid-November 2003
Location: Los Angeles