Can’t Keep Down The Militia!

Yeah, whatever, these assholes wouldn’t post my corrections to my previous article, so I had to hack in and post them myself. Read this now before these testosterone-loaded twits remove my brilliance or alter it yet again. -The Lesbian Militia

Goddamnit it to hell, these straight-male assholes wouldn’t give in to my strength and feminine wiles, so I had to actually hack the server to bring you these corrections. I can’t believe the blatant machismo-slanted sensationalism that’s been applied to my goddamned manifesto of brilliance.

First off, I do not, have not, nor will I ever pack an AK. AK-47’s are quite possibly the most pathetic display of small penis insecurity since jacked up pintos. They are unwieldy, pretentious, and made primarily to be waved around in someone’s face. I don’t need that shit. I find that my sleek little Glock is easy to use, much more accurate, requires a modicum of skill to operate, and –most importantly– can be conveniently stashed in a shoulder belt under my camouflage.

Secondly, that line toward the end about Ang Lee doing a good job is pure gossamer fantasy on the part of my editor. He’s a man, and like all men, ought to be drawn and castrated by stringing a rope from the far side of his dick to the driving lines of a coked-up mule. I didn’t say that, and I don’t appreciate shit like that being added just for the sake of the site admins sucking director’s dicks. It won’t get you anywhere, assholes, except maybe an invitation to meet the barrel end of my aforementioned handgun.

Fuck off.