You Know A Film Is Really Screwed When…

No doubt, most of you have heard the news about Rollerball, that MGM plans on making it a more consumer friendly PG13 rated film… you know, for the kids. This decision seems to have caused a firestorm of anger amongst one group of GFBs at one of our fellow movie webmaster sites. The one major bone of contention amongst this angry crowd? The potential loss of a full frontal Rebecca Romijn-Stamos nude scene.

Hell, you know a movie is really screwed when the fanboys are more pissed off about losing an unnecessary nude scene than anything else.

My suggestion to John McTiernan, from someone who has worked on feature films as more than just a glorified extra whose scenes have mostly ended up in the cut bin… make the fucking film YOU want to make. Come February, the final title card is going to say “Directed by John McTiernan”. So do whatever you feel needs to be done to make as entertaining a film as you can make. Reshoot what you feel needs to be reshot. Edit the fucker the way you feel best represents your vision of the project. If the GFBs don’t like it, too fucking bad. They can go pull out their old Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issues and have their fun… if they can still get the pages open.

Now, we here at FilmJerk have been rough on MGM for a lack of vision. This is a good step in the right direction. It’s better to take your time and miss a release date in hopes the final product can become better than people expected. Frankly, when I first heard about the remake of Rollerball, I thought “What a fucking waste of time and money”. If you’re going to remake something, you remake something no one remembers because it came out sixty years ago and was a collosal bomb. You don’t remake a cult classic from Norman Jewison, and you don’t fucking replace James Caan, one of the baddest motherfuckers in the last great age of cinema, with someone as white bread as Chris Klein.

But we like to be surprised. We like it when something comes along we think it going to be a total and complete piece of shit, and it turns out to be mildly entertaining. Rather to have people go in with low expectations and come put happy than go in with impossible to meet expectations and never being able to please them no matter what you do.

Now, if we only figure out to fist a certain someone with one of James Caan’s spiked gloves…

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