The New Pilots are Here! The New Pilots are Here!

Casting calls and news items in the TV community come in each day here to FilmJerk.com. Amy Lawrence catches the minutiae that falls through the cracks, and discusses them more in depth than most of them probably deserve. Today, read news on some more new pilots, “Six Feet Under,” “Gilmore Girls,” and heck, just about every show out there. This is a big one, folks!

American Dad Seth McFarlane of “The Family Guy” is doing another animated show for Fox. It’s about Stan, a CIA agent, and his wife and two kids.

Average Joe: Adam Returns! But wait, all the women they are casting have to be attractive, according to a casting notice we have obtained. Where are the Average Jills? Now it just looks like just an average dating show.

Big Island: Danny returned to Hawaii after a bad break-up. He got a job at a resort, but is shocked when his boss turns out to be his ex. This pilot for Fox will follow the lives of the resort staff and guests.

Century City: Episode 7 has a “Flowers for Algernon” thing going on as retarded Henry must have the implant that makes him smart removed as it is killing him. He’s worried that his wife, who has never known him retarded, will leave him. Also, Adam gets drunk and sleeps with a man in drag. He wants to sue for non-disclosure.

CSI: Everyone is “Getting Off.” Drugs that is. Mindy found God and is newly sober, but she may have murdered someone under the influence. Also, there’s a clown-mime altercation that ends in death.

CSI: Miami: In “Slash and Burn,” a body is found after a fire, but the fire wasn’t the cause of death. Another body is found and both are traced to the same person, a man who is also being tracked by the C.I.A. for drugs.

Clubhouse: Aaron Spelling is making this drama for CBS about Pete, a kid who lies to become a batboy for the Yankees. On his first day on the job, he gets busted with a player’s drugs and has to take the rap.

Cold Case: An informant for the F.B.I. in the 60s, Alan is now a life-coach. Did he kill to keep his undercover status a secret from the rest of the hippies in his commune? Find out in “Volunteers.”

Desperate Housewives: ABC is piloting this show about the women who live on Wisteria Lane. Mary Alice is so desperate she commits suicide and becomes the show’s narrator. The other wives slowly melt down and become more and more desperate.

ER: In “Forgive and Forget,” a teen is taking care of her vegetative father. Desk clerk Frank’s disabled child has to hang out at the ER while her mother is sick. And, a veteran goes nuts and drives a tank (r) through the hospital to protest his poor medical treatment. In “The Student,” Frederika is a Catholic schoolgirl with a “surprising way of taking care of herself.” Does that mean what I think it means????

Eyes: This pilot for ABC is about Harlan Judd, the owner of a Risk Management company, a sort of high tech security and problem solving sort of thing. He has a mole in the company, and must figure out which of his employees, all masters of deception, is stealing from him. Yes.

Gilmore Girls: New character Christine is basically Lane, only younger. She’s Korean with strict parents and loves music.

Hack: Ted has a brain tumor and hires a hit man to kill him. His wife, who is having an affair, is worried she will be blamed in “One For My Baby.”

Hub: Henry is a L.A.P.D. cop who has been demoted to airport duty. He interacts with the immigration cops and other airport workers. This pilot is for NBC.

Joan of Arcadia: God tells Joan to learn to jump rope in “Ties that Bind.” Kevin goes on a date, but not with who you think. God appears as a mascot, a pizza guy and a double dutch jumper.

Las Vegas: Ed and Danny go to New Orleans to track a gambler who cheated the casino out of 4 million dollars. Have I mentioned that I love this show? Oh, I have.

Law and Order: A teen is killed on a playground, and after the two witnesses are also killed there the team steps up the investigation in “Can I Get a Witness.”

Law and Order: Criminal Intent: Two psychiatrists have spent years trying to outdo each other’s infidelities. Their competition has ruined their daughter’s life. Enough that she frames them for murder in “Shrink Rapped.”

Law and Order: Special Victim’s Unit: Muriel is a social worker who is burnt out. When she makes a critical mistake, she kills to cover it up in “Careless.”

Medium: NBC is producing this show about an intern at the D.A.’s office who can communicate with the dead. After proving herself to the Texas Rangers, she starts consulting on murder cases. But not all the Rangers are happy with her services or even believe her. This show is produced by Kelsey Grammar.

Miss Match: YAY!!!! They’re still filming! Kate goes to her reunion in episode 15.

Mr. Ed: Oh yeah, it’s just what you think, Willlbu????. It’s a pilot for Fox.

Navy NCIS: In “One Shot Kill,” a marine recruiter who uses any means necessary to meet his quotas is killed at the recruitment office. It turns out to be the first in a group of sniper attacks on recruiters.

NYPD Blue: In episode 15, we meet a husband and wife who sexually torture women. Oh goody.

One Big Happy: Fox is working on this pilot about a man who falls in love with his wife’s best friend. They marry and must blend their families together.

One Tree Hill: The mother of Jake’s baby, Megan, changes her mind and returns for her baby.

Parent Trap: ABC is bringing the movie remake to the small screen.

Secret Service: This pilot for ABC is about Laura, a married Secret Service agent who is trying to balance her career and family life and Charles, her partner who is romantically interested in her. Rounding out the cast are boss Gwen, who promotes Laura, and Mike, who is passed up for this promotion and is bitter about it.

The Shield: Trick is distributing illegal pharmaceuticals for Lewis Thompkins, but gives Lewis up to Vic in exchange for getting off a murder rap in “Strays.”

Six Feet Under: In “Can I Come Up Now,” we meet George’s son Kyle. Nate sees a psychic about Lisa. And our corpse du jour is a man struck by lightning.

Thief: Nick is a master thief on the run from the Chinese mafia. He’s recently married and isn’t the best parent to his new stepdaughter. His life changes when his wife dies in a car accident. This pilot is for FOX.

Threat Matrix: The team is investigated for their conduct thwarting an act of eco-terrorism in episode 114. In 115, they help a Cambodian mother whose son has been deported in trade for information about a terrorist attack.

Untitled Method Man and Redman Project: The rappers play themselves, and in this pilot their gated community is trying to oust them.

West Wing: In “Full Disclosure,” we meet the mayor of D.C. The press corps gets a new member to spar with C.J. And, the President must deal with the closings of several military bases.

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