Casting calls and news items in the TV community come in each day here to FilmJerk.com. Amy Lawrence catches the minutiae that falls through the cracks, and discusses them more in depth than most of them probably deserve. Today’s call includes info on “Ed” (is he really selling the Stuckeybowl?), Navy role-playing geeks on “Navy NCIS,” and what show is ripping the Great White club fire from the headlines.
10-8: Rico gets attacked by a guy on PCP, Barnes’ old boss gets attacked by Crips, and the Bubble Man who dances through the car wash gets burned by hot wax. “Mercy, Mercy, Me” indeed.
24: New cast members Tomas and Pedro work for the Salazar cartel.
The Brotherhood of Poland, New Hampshire: In “Shaw Shank Redemption”, the woman of Poland are getting collagen injections in their cha-cha’s to stimulate sexual response. To get the same effect, the men go see a sexy mother/daughter cabaret act.
Charmed: In “Three Witches,” the girls are attacked by a demon who feeds on earthly desires and Wyatt gets sick during an impromptu male striptease party at the manor.
Coupling: “The Girl With Two Breasts” has been re-named “Foreign Affair” for the American audience. And any language will do, Jeff’s dream girl can be any nationality. In “Nipple Effect,” Sally’s new boyfriend wants her to look natural and not wear make-up, Jane hits on the new weathergirl at the station, Susan and Steve try to spice up their relationship by pretending to be strangers, and Patrick loses confidence in his sexual techniques.
CSI: Miami: A member of a Grand Prix pit crew is mysteriously burned by an invisible fire in Episode 207.
The District: A writer shows up researching the Juniper serial killings and ends up in a romance with Sergeant Brander.
Ed: Episode 307 has Ed selling the Stuckeybowl and Mike interviewing for a new best friend.
Enterprise: “Enterprise” goes “Firefly” when they visit the Wild West planet North Star. The humans on the planet descended from cowboys kidnapped by aliens in the 1800s. After an uprising, the humans take over and control the alien Skagarans. It gets out of hand when Archer is accused of murder by the local sheriff.
ER: In “Death and Taxes,” a soccer mom is doing drugs to keep her energy up, a young stepfather proves he’s not ready for parenthood, and Dr. Lewis visits Hollander (Bob Newhart) at his apartment.
Eve: In “Ego Trips and Salsa,” Eve dumps her boyfriend at salsa class to dance with class star Ricky.
Good Morning Miami: Dylan has an ex-husband that Jake know nothing about, until episode 203. He’s a Tampa Bay Buccaneer.
Jake 2.0: New co-star Jerry is Jake’s brother, who turns up and turns Jake’s life around.
Karen Sisco: Karen tracks a trio of parolees on the run in “Justice.”
King of Queens: Carrie goes to the gynecologist nazi, who drops you as a patient for the tiniest infraction in Episode 606, “Secret Garden.”
Las Vegas: Danny is acting Head of Security when Big Ed goes on vacay. All hell breaks loose, and Danny realizes Ed is setting him up to test his grace under pressure in “Semper Spy.”
Law and Order: Ripped from the headlines, and would it really be “L&O” if it weren’t, is the Great White club fire in the upcoming episode “Blaze.”
Law and Order: Special Victims Unit: In “Coerced,” Kevin Walker is a psychotic who kidnaps a child that he believes is his own, unwittingly sparking a custody battle in the child’s parents who accuse each other.
The Lyon’s Den: Jack defends an FBI agent accused of espionage, and is surprised that his ex-fiancee is the prosecutor. Arial defends a college student who is a victim of identity theft, only to find out he’s also a computer hacker.
Malcolm in the Middle: Look for Malcolm to get a job at Lucky Aide.
The Mayor: Jake accidentally asks a hooker to his inaugural ball.
Miss Match: Sandy and Jerry are lawyers, and exes. It’s up to Kate to get them back together, even as they face off against each other in court. Also, Kate matches up a love addict with a woman who thinks she can’t love in “Addicted to Love.”
Monk: In “Mr. Monk and the 3 Pies,” we meet Monk’s brother Ambrose, a packrat agoraphobic who thinks his neighbor is a murderer who killed for pie.
The Mullets: The boys have to replace Roger’s Cuban cigar collection, so they throw a huge pool party to raise money in “Smoke on the Water.”
Navy NCIS: A Dungeons and Dragons game on the USS Dewey gets out of control and leads to murder in “Highlander.”
Nip/Tuck: “Antonia Ramos” smuggles drugs in her breast implants. I don’t even want to know the logistics of this.
NYPD Blue: In an arc beginning with episode 5, a serial killer is stalking women at a popular bar, Russell starts drinking again when she finds a lump in her breast, and teen Kurt’s horrible home life is exposed when he is brought in for arson.
The O.C.: Ryan takes Marissa to Chino and sees his ex-girlfriend Theresa.
One Life to Live: Sonia is new to the United States. She’s trying to learn English and fit in.
POP*D: MTV’s new game show is all about pop culture and will be faced paced and interspersed with comedy and music bits.
Seventh Heaven: Peter brings his dog to a rehab center for pet therapy and get involved in a family dispute when a patient asks him to deliver a letter. Kevin and Lucy join a softball team with disastrous results.
She Spies: Cassie has a bomb around her neck, and the girls have 12 hours to save her in “Off With Her Head.” In “Message from Kassar,” Kassar is a code breaker who only wants to be with his true love.
Significant Others: Bravo’s new show is about couples in therapy and is totally improvised.
Smallville: In Episode 6, Clark and Lana try and clear a man accused of murdering his wife 40 years ago. While researching the crime, they discover surprises from Clark’s family’s past.
Strong Medicine: In “Seize the Day,” a very sick young girl competes in a spelling bee, but takes a dive so that a kid who will live to see college gets the scholarship prize.
That 70s Show: In the Christmas episode, Red is the mall Santa! Those poor young kids, they won’t know what hit ’em.
Third Watch: Ann-Margaret will appear as Judge Halsted for three episodes starting with episode 6, “Surrender.”
Threat Matrix: In “Natural Borne Killers,” the team must deal with an ebola outbreak. In “Alpha 126,” a prisoner dies when his medicine is withheld during an interrogation.
The West Wing: A disaster in Oklahoma makes some characters question their faith in episode 6, “Disaster Relief.”
Without a Trace: A high school sex-scandal leads to murder in “Our Sons and Daughters.”
Wonderfalls: Fat Pat goes on a diet and is revealed to be a cutie. Jaye wants to save him and takes him out on a fake date to boost his ego. When he realizes that she doesn’t really want to date him, he gets depressed and decides to eat himself to death.
Yes Dear: Dominic is bullying Ronnie, a boy in his class who loves musicals. Ronnie’s dad and Jimmy decide to get the boys together and hilarity ensues.