Yay! ”Alias” News and Much More…

Casting calls and news items in the TV community come in each day here to FilmJerk.com. Amy Lawrence catches the minutiae that falls through the cracks, and discusses them more in depth than most of them probably deserve. Today’s call includes notices on old faves “Alias,” “Angel,” “”Charmed,” “Stargate SG-1” and “NYPD Blue,” plus lots of new stuff.

10-8: In “Badlands,” Matty is an abused kid who doesn’t want to be sent to yet another foster home. Rico must find Matty’s father and convince him to take Matty, even though he hasn’t seen his son in twelve years. I’m bored already.

Alias: In “The Two,” we get two new characters. Volkov is a Russian hit-man and Lindsay is senior director of the National Security Council.

Angel: In the second episode of the new season, which will be written by David Fury and directed by James A. Contner, we are introduced to four characters: Hainsley, a big, gregarious and amiable sort who can be really scary and is listed as a guest star; Novac, a late-20s associate at the law firm, who is described as “slick and a smartass”; a manservant, a dapper gentleman who is described as “bald, thin, tall and lanky”; and a funny demon, with the casting notes saying that the actor will be fitted with light prosthetics on his hand and face. The latter three are listed as co-stars. The episode is untitled as of this writing and begins shooting on August 5.

Bernie Mac Show: Bernie gets new neighbors, they are white and pretentious. Also, Vanessa goes vegetarian. Bernie gets mad and yells funny things.

Boston Public: They need a kid with a surgically split tongue. Boy, will he feel dumb when this fad ends.

The Brotherhood of Poland New Hampshire: I sense a musical episode, as they need several cast members for singing only, no dialogue parts. Ugh. David E. Kelley can’t even see the shark, he’s so far past it.

Charmed: In “Love’s a Witch,” Paige gets a new fella. Richard Montana’s a warlock who’s family is cursed. He never uses magic to escape this curse, until he decides to use a seance to talk to his dead girlfriend. Paige, this dude’s got too much baggage.

Cold Case: Just how did a pretty, young, firefighter’s wife get herself blown up twenty years ago? Was it some creepy flasher who exposed himself to her? Or some creepy bomb squad leader who’s a little too into explosives? I don’t know, but I’ll bet the perp is creepy.

CSI: Catherine investigates a mysterious death that may be the end result of an argument over sports (silly men), and Grissom suspects a police officer of murder, as the murderer wore a uniform, and used a fake “officer down” call as a distraction.

Dead Lawyers: New on the Sci Fi Channel is this show about what happens to evil lawyers when they die. According to producers the Zanucks (for Dreamworks), ambulance chasers are reincarnated as pro-bono lawyers and must undo their past cases and right past wrongs. In fact, *ALL* pro-bono lawyers are reincarnated fat cats. It’s not that simple though, as the dead lawyers don’t really want to change. They hate their new “lives” as defenders of truth, justice and the American Way.

The District: Episode 402 is called “The Devil You Know.” Jack is injured while busting Diego Corona for drugs.

Dragnet: In “Coyote,” the murder of an illegal alien leads to further killings by the Coyotes who smuggle people across the border.

Enterprise In the episode “Enemy Advances,” the crew rescues Rajiin from a pleasure planet, but she’s not your average hooker. She has a dangerous secret. Levar Burton directs this one.

ER: New nurse alert. Sam is a spunky and sexy single mom. Aren’t they all?

Frasier: Frasier’s getting a new producer. Dana will be in her 30’s and use a wheelchair.

Joan of Arcadia: In episode 101, God is an anchorman who talks through the TV to Joan.

Judging Amy: “Going Down” focuses on the Danny Mason case, and a kidnapped little girl. Maxine takes on the cause of the little girl, and makes her own “Amber Alert”.

Karen Sisco Have I mentioned that Robert Forster’s playing Karen’s (Carla Guigano) dad? As he played Max Cherry in the “Jackie Brown” film (adapted from “Rum Punch,” by Leonard, who also wrote the book this series is based on), this feels a little incestuous.

Line of Fire: Episode 3 is called “Take the Money and Run,” and has bad guy Malloy talking poor Brett Rawling’s son as collateral on a loan payback. If Brett can’t swing a huge drug deal his son is toast.

Lyon’s Den: Rob Lowe’s new show is re-filming it’s pilot. Two roles are being re-cast. Daniel Barrington was Jack’s mentor at the law firm who commits suicide in the pilot (yet his role is recurring, we’re guessing via either flashbacks or ghostly) and Nwamaka, a past girlfriend of Jack’s who works for Amnesty International and needs Jack’s help.

My Wife and Kids: The show is getting a new character. Vanessa is a pregnant teen who must try and keep her relationship going with the baby’s father.

Nip/Tuck: Swinger Cliff Mantangna works hard to be fit, but he still is denied access to the best swinger parties due to his man-breasts. He wants the “Nip/Tuck” guys to cut them off, but his surgery is complicated due to the diseases he has caught from going to the low rent swinger parties. This is the “Nip/Tuck” version of a “very special episode” with an “important message”.

NYPD Blue: The season premiere is about a pedophile who witnesses his brother’s murder. We’ve all watched our share of cop shows right? We know that there’s no such thing as an innocent pedophile “witness“, right? The next few episodes will center on a murder of a woman, and the many suspects including an auto mechanic, her building manager and a goth kid.

Seventh Heaven: Episode 3 is called “PK,” which stands for “preacher’s kid”. Simon uses the PK old boy’s network to get into Harvard early. Lucy catches Chandler kissing Michelle, even though he just had a date with Kelly, and Ruthie and Peter are taunted by bully Hippo. I would think someone called Hippo would be pretty easy to turn the tables on.

Stargate SG-1: In part one of “Lost City,” President Hayes and his Joint Chiefs watch in horror, and the Anubis’s ships descend on DC. How will the Stargate crew deal with all this, and the loss of Hammond? In “Chimera,” Carter gets a new beau, Pete Shannon’s a cop who is suspicious that Carter won’t talk about her work. He almost gets killed sneaking around trying to find out more about her life at Stargate.

Threat Matrix: The first regular episode centers on a serial bomber who attacks universities.

Tru Calling: Tru’s ex Mark used to be her college professor. Secret lovers when she was his student, he now wants to come out with their relationship. Her talking with the dead complicated things (doesn’t it always?).

Wanda at Large: Can new character Charlotte save this show from a difficult new timeslot? I think not. She’s a knee-jerk liberal brought in to fight with conservative Bradley and Wanda. Dear sitcoms, leave the political jokes to “The Daily Show.”

Without a Trace: In “Revelations,” we got a good priest, a pretty good priest who is missing and has a secret in his past, and a bad priest who is having an affair. At least none of them are molesting any kids.