With Summer Hiatus Over, TV News Heats Up!

Casting calls and news items in the TV community come in each day here to FilmJerk.com. Amy Lawrence catches the minutiae that falls through the cracks, and discusses them more in depth than most of them probably deserve. Today’s call includes notices on new characters for “West Wing” and “Gilmore Girls,” and stuff on both “CSI” series, “Angel” and “Sex and the City,” as well as a great deal more.

Angel: In the fifth-season premiere (which remains untitled), the show is looking to fill four roles, each a guest star of some type. They include: Hauser, a no-nonsense soldier who is “jarhead to jartoe”; Spanky, an older man who works in the mystical trade “who is a bit kinky” and is “in the kind of good shape that is slightly wrong for a man his age”; A man called “The Doctor,” who is textbook creepy and who does a medical procedure on Gunn of some type; and the well-heeled Fries, who is very much a thug. The latter is a client of Wolfram/Hart, looking at a 20 year sentence for a variety of felonies. We’re getting close to the new season, and I can’t wait. For our last report on the new “Angel” season, click here.

Boomtown: The Sabrina Fithian trial is David’s first job after leaving rehab. She’s been charged with killing a police officer. During the trial, his father shows up, as a representative of the Donadoni crime family telling David to lay off. Poor, poor David.

CSI: In “Homebodies,” a gang of kids break into a house, but they aren’t the first criminals on the scene. I’m sure some teeny piece of crap, I mean evidence, will prove this.

CSI Miami: In “Death Grip,” the team searches for a kidnapped girl, who turns out just to be a runaway. But during the search, they find a real kidnapped girl. Get it? In “Dead Zone,” a treasure hunter is killed with a spear gun after finding the wreck of the Zaragoza. When his partner, the prime suspect, also turns up dead, the team must dig deeper to uncover the Columbian drug lords who financed the treasure hunt.

Dead Like Me: Rube must help a newly dead yoga instructor (broke his neck doing the Plow) who isn’t really upset by death, but fascinated by the process. I’m back to thinking this show will suck.

The District: Episode 401 is called “Jack’s Back.” In it, the only witness to the murder of Lester Richards is blind.

Gilmore Girls: Rory’s college roommate will be Janet, who is incredibly athletic (yawn). I get very afraid when the delicate balance of a show is tipped by change. Very afraid.

Guardian: Nick takes on a coal company as a client, but it leads him into a terrible situation. People who work near the mine are getting sick, and Nick cuts a deal that absolves the coal company of blame. Because we all know that black lung is not and has never been caused by coal.

Handler: Joey Pants’ new show begins with his team tracking the Rock and Roll Bandits. You know, musicians who rob banks. Seriously, this is the real plot of an episode.

JAG: The “Tangled Webb” two-parter gets more complicated as Harm travels to Paraguay to catch an arms dealer, but is thwarted by Maria Elena, a CIA secretary who sells secrets by the seashore. Harm may not notice her duplicity, but the arms dealer outs her as a double agent.

Joan of Arcadia: Episode 101 is called “Fire and the Wood” and, honestly, who cares about some stupid arson plot when Joan is there talking to God and all. In this episode, God appears as an 8-year-old girl.

Judging Amy: Amy must judge Danny Mason– and she ticks him off by overturning a ruling on some inadmissible evidence, in episode 501 “Motion Sickness.”

Nip/Tuck: Megan O’Hara has lost both her breasts to cancer. She comes to Sean for help. Sean is dealing with his wife’s miscarriage, and connects with Megan. They comfort each other with an affair until her cancer recurs. They were not kidding calling this show “dark comedy.” It’s black hole comedy.

Oliver Beene: This actually got renewed, and needs a new narrator.

One Tree Hill: We’ve got a cast list for this WB high school drama about the rich kid and his bastard brother. Chad Michael Murray plays Lucas, James Lafferty is Nathan, Craig Schaeffer is Keith, Moira Kelly is Karen, Paul Johansson is Dan and Barry Corbin is Whitey. Whitey?

Sex and the City: In “The Domino Effect,” Charlotte goes to an acupuncturist in an attempt to get pregnant (what, the cardboard baby wasn’t enough?). Blair Underwood also makes his appearance is Robert. There’s a hint that Big could be very sick–but who knows. The next episode is called “One,”and will be the last filmed before the hiatus from August until the end of September.

She Spies: A dating service is really a front for stealing government secrets. The girls must go undercover on a bunch of bad dates to stop this.

Strong Medicine: Does anyone even watch this show? They’d have to, it keeps being made, but do you even know anyone who watches it? Anyway, one of Lu’s patients has a baby with a tumor– the big problem is that the baby isn’t yet born. Also, Andy battles with her teenage daughter, but is distracted as she is prepping to put a chimp heart in a human patient. Good lord, why don’t we all watch this show?

West Wing: New possible regulars are intern Ryan and speech writer Katie. Ryan is from a powerful family, and is just coasting through his internship– much to the frustration of the intense “WW” crew. Katie is just waayyy too perky for Toby to deal with. We also get to meet oldest daughter Elizabeth Bartlett Westin, her husband Doug, and their 2 kids. Doug is the intern Ryan of the family– he just can’t keep up. The new Speaker of the House is a right winger– the better to piss off the President, and the new Chief of Staff for the Vice President will be a woman.

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