Amy’s Casting Couch for March 2, 2003

Casting calls and news items in the film and TV community come in each day here to FJ. Amy Lawrence catches the minutiae that falls through the cracks, and discusses them more in depth than most of them probably deserve. Today’s call includes notices on 40 new pilots and current shows including Angel, Gilmore Girls, who the new MacGyver is, Jenny McCarthy’s return to our living rooms , some BBC rip offs and much, much more.

Agency In “War Inc.” a Saudi political leader and 20 members of the royal family are assassinated, but by whom? Turns out it’s not a politcal hit at all, but a business matter dealt with way off Wall Street.

All About the Andersons The Barbershop comes to the WB in the form of the Anderson family salon.

All Grown Up Jay Lacopo is Jay, a 30 something still hanging out with his guy friends until, in the pilot, his wife has their first child and Jay must become, “All Grown Up” on CBS.

All of Us Bill Cosby, um, I mean whoever they cast, is a wealthy African American dad. The twist is that he’s divorced and re-married and must balance his two families with wit and humor and probably jello pudding. Produced by Will and Jada Pinkett Smith for UPN.

Alligator Point The crazy, colorful residents of this Southern town get a new lady doctor from the big city who, of course, falls in love with their wacky charm. Blah. Produced by Kelsey Grammar for NBC. He has to do something if Frasier’s over, right?

Angel Little people, old people and deaf people who can sign are needed for future episode 419. The gang gets separated and all have to look for their own refuge as all hell keeps breaking lose.

Arrested Development More on Ron Howard and Brian Glazer’s pilot. It will be shot single-camera in documentary style and wants actors who will embrace a “non-pampered” approach. I hope TV viewers will also embrace a “non-pampered” approach, but my living room ain’t ready for Dogma filmmaking by way of Opie Taylor.

Boston Public One of the students is working in a strip club. Haven’t they done this plot already? Check it out on “Chapter Sixty-Three”.

Coupling NBC still needs a Jeff and a Sally to reshoot their pilot after several cast changes and the departure of Breckin Meyer. I think all the trouble is an omen. Don’t do this Sue Vertue and Steven Moffat. Go back to England and shoot Season 4 of the real Coupling!!!!

Days of Our Lives Days needs a new Philip Kiriakis. Not as shocking as a new Darren, but still.

District Everyone’s going nuts as the mayor’s son holds his family hostage when the voices in his head tell him to, and an artist runs rampant on angel dust. It’s a full moon during episode 319.

Division The show is looking for a large, African American girl to play a character named “Frenchie”. Know of anyone who’s free? Hope she calls them.

ER Episode 19 is new medical student day. Watch closely, as one of the new students is usually chosen to become a regular cast member. If only you could call in and vote for your favorite.

Family Show Being shopped by Sony, this is about 16 year old Danny, who is about to become a dad. He and his girlfriend move baby in with his folks.

Gilmore Girls They are looking for a “Rick” who has extensive stunt experience. What stunts are needed on Gilmore Girls. The most dangerous thing in Stars Hollow is Kirk’s cat Kirk!

Hope and Faith Hope and Faith are twins, one a mom, one a star. ABC seems to think this is enough to hang a show on.

Immediate Family Aaron Spelling has cast Lori Laughlin (from Full House) and Shawn Christian as a couple who takes in her sister’s children after the death of their parents.

Jenny McCarthy Project Won’t this chick ever go away? Jenny plays Portia, spoiled and rich but suddenly penniless she has to take a job as a party planner. Or should I say Party Planner! Yay! Ick.

Joan of Arcadia In this pilot for CBS, Joan is the caretaker of her broken family, until she cracks up and starts getting messages from God. But, it’s CBS, it may really be God talking and helping people. How sweet.

John Doe John meets a woman at the Sea, but she turns out to be a man-hating, former prostitute serial killer. Really. That’s what it says.

Law and Order Special Victims Unit Mark Gardner is brought in for a series of rapes but no one can believe such a nice, wealthy guy could have done them, especially his wife, in an episode called “Futility.”

Lunchbox Chronicles Widowed Kate and best pal stay-at-home-dad Joe must deal with neurotic kids (one has screaming panic attacks!) and more neurotic family members on CBS.

MacGyver My beloved Dean (Jared Padalecki) is our new gadget guy. Looks like he and Rory won’t be getting back together… In the pilot, he and his pal bust up a ring of terrorist diamond smugglers.

Malcolm in the Middle The family has to become regular churchgoers, so that they can scam free daycare.

Mallards Greg Germann has been given the lead as Carl.

NYPD Blue McDowell may lose custody of Michelle to a child molester, gangsta wannabes kill to look tough, and a psychotic, recently released, stalks his next victim while posing as a shrink all in episode 19.

Old School No, not the movie. Old School is the name of a store, run by frumpy Irene, who gets a business partner and a makeover from prom queen Jennifer. See how these high school rivals become best pals on UPN. Seriously, does anyone ever even see people from their high school ever again? I don’t.

One Life to Live Craig is one of Mitch’s loyal followers, until he decided to manipulate the cult for his own gains.

Pool at Maddy Breakers Maddy was the queen of her high school, but 10 years later she’s broke and letting her landlord peep at her wandering around nude in exchange for free rent. But, her show’s on FOX so she’ll whine a lot and be fine in the end.

Seventh Heaven Cecila’s parents are “renewing” their vows (yes, it’s that’s old standby, never really married in the first place). Chandler counsels an engaged couple and realizes that the problem is really the groom’s mother. All this and more in episode 152, “Dick”.

Sin City This new reality show will follow five girls as they try to make in as showgirls in Las Vegas. At least one of them will be topless.

Stargate The show gets a new character in Aiden Parker, a civilian journalist assigned to cover the Stargate Project by the President. He tries to manipulate the crew into giving up their secrets, but must prove himself by drawing on his military past to gain their trust. The episode is called “Heroes”.

Still Untitled ABC Pilot Just call it “My Big Fat Irish Wedding”. Bobby is Irish Catholic. His fiance is Protestant and brought up by two gay men. Their families clash, yadda, yadda, yadda.

The Stones The Stones are getting a divorce, and their quirky kids have to deal with it. Seriously, that’s the whole plot of this pilot for CBS.

Sweet Potato Queens We’ve had Ya Yas and Red Hats and now we have Sweet Potato Queens. Delta Burke returns to TV as Jill, a bartender and Queen who must deal with her mom and daughter.

These Guys Carsey Werner are teaming up with Tim Allen to produce this for ABC. Tom, Bud, Rick and Carl basically act out the plot to “Bye Bye Love” as they deal with kids, divorce, girlfriends and poker games.

Touching Evil Another British import USA is Americanizing. *sigh* Leave well enough alone. Anyway, I highly recommend the original series. This one sounds like a note for note remake but what’s the point without stand out UK actor Robson Green as the lead.

Untitled Dan Finnerty Project Holy Crap, I bet this guys sings at least one song per episode. He plays Dan Kennedy, who gives up his dream of being a singer to take over his dad’s bar. But, holy crap, he becomes the bar’s regular entertainer.

Untitled Glouberman and Orenstein Project Twins again! Molly Voorhies is a successful child prodigy. Her twin Zach is a failed child prodigy. She’s disappointed in his lack of financial success. He’s disappointed in her lack of social success. See them bicker on FOX.

West Wing Donna follows her old college friend Matthew around at a party, hoping he still has drug connections, in and episode called “The Privateers”. Matthew just thinks she wants to sleep with him.