Amy’s Casting Couch for February 10, 2003

Casting calls and news items in the film and TV community come in each day here to FJ. Amy Lawrence catches the minutiae that falls through the cracks, and discusses them more in depth than most of them probably deserve.

On the Boob Tube…

C.S.I. Miami: Could they have their very own porn mom? A soccer mom in desperate need for cash is part of episode 118’s plot.

Come to Papa: Comedian Tom Papa gets his own “Everybody Loves Raymond”-esque show on NBC.

Cracking Up: Produced by Jay Roach, this pilot is about Ben Sweetwater, a psychology student who lives with a family of crazies as his internship. He’s supposed to be observing their depressed 8 year old son, but soon realized the entire family is nuts.

Crash Test: TNN is filming this reality competition where a group of B-list actors crash A list parties. I am so there.

Criminology 101: CBS, soon to rename themselves Crime Show Broadcasting, is filming this pilot about two star pupils in Roy Frank’s Criminology class that help Roy solve crimes for extra credit.

Crossing Jordan: Lily gets a spiritual awakening when monks come to claim the body of their slain leader in episode 19, “Fire and Ice.”

Dead Like Me: Showtime is filming this about a family of Grim Reapers. Rube, played by Mandy Patinkin, is a reaper who is back to, um, reaping, after a 60 year hiatus.

Dragnet; Episode 11 brings us Goths, Native American shamen, surfers and an Episcopalian Minister. Way to hit all the trends!

E.D.N.Y.: The serious “A.U.S.A.,” starring William (don’t call me Billy) Baldwin as “Mad Dog,” the Chief who works with a bunch of young attorneys and agents prosecuting the bad guys.

Exit 9: Young high school frosh Richie Somerset starts his own bookmaking business to earn money to attract the ladies. It’s like “Freaks and Geeks,” only not.

Expert Witness: Dr. Matthew McBride is a forensic psychiatrist on the sort of mental C.S.I. piloting for CBS. He and his crew investigate the psyches of criminals and provide expert testimony for trials. This one, I’m watching!

Hunter: Returning to NBC after being cancelled in 1991, there will be a movie of the week airing in April followed by 6 new episodes. This is what is taking Providence’s spot. This.

JAG; Middle eastern arms dealers will be teaming up with Latin drug dealers in episodes 180, 181 and 182. The JAG team will work with the Paraguayan army to defeat them.

Just Shoot Me: Nina and Simon get engaged, and she meets his parents who are secret wife swappers! Someone, I think Nina, would go for that.

Mallards: Fox Broadcasting is working on this “Frasier”-like show about the snobbish Mallard family, who is cast into turmoil when the dad’s illegitimate son shows up and is not so snobbish. Karl, the dad, is the Head of History at Stanford and “must be great with physical comedy.”

One Life To Live: The soap is looking for someone to play recurring ex-con Cole. He’s dangerous, threatening and very smart. Very smart? On a soap?

Shadow Walkers: WB is working on this show about anthropologists who accidentally free all the goblins and monsters of folklore. The rest of the series is them trying to put them back where they belong. Where were these guys when “Legend” was released?

The Shield: In episode 211, Evette Montano and her mother claim she has been raped by her boss… but has she?

Six Feet Under; Lisa (now Nate’s wife!!!!!) has a car accident, and Brenda moves to a seedy apartment in episode 311, “Death Works Overtime.”

Sixteen to Life: Julie’s mother leaves the family, and Julie must take over as caregiver. When she falls in love with Kyle, her dad has to step up, as Julie claims her teen years. What. Ever.

Skin: Adam Romero (read Romeo) is in love with Jewel Goldman (read Juliet). His dad is D.A. Her dad makes porn. His dad attacks her dad as part of his political campaign. Her dad is pissed. I can only imagine what the party scenes will look like.

Suburban Sleuths: Frankie and Carolyn are sisters. One married and a soccer mom, one single and an ex-cop. They start their own detective agency. Surprise! This is for Lifetime.

Violent Crime: Think “Cagney and Lacey” for this new pilot. Sheila and Pamela are homicide detectives. One’s single and funny. One’s a serious married parent. Cagney and Lacey.

Weapon X: Computer geek has a lab accident, is infected with nanobots that give him superpowers and gets recruited for Black Ops missions. I’m a computer geek and nothing ever happens to me. The C.I.A. really needs to come a callin’.