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The First Ever FilmJerk ”Fuck You” Award Is Presented To…

Simon West and the producers of the recently opened piece of shit Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. Opening this past Friday to near universal scorn and a box office gross even more inflated than Angelina Jolie’s tits, it seems West and company are more concerned with protecting their fragile egos than about making the best film they could. Check out the cavalier attitude of the producers as they announce their plans to franchise LC:TR even before the first film opened. Last year, another group of haughty producers did the same thing. Unfortunately for them, Battlefield: Earth has a dreadlocked alien John Travolta instead of a mammary enhanced Angelina Jolie in hot pants and a mini T. I doubt B:E 2 will ever see the light of day. Despite the near $50M opening weekend, don’t be too shocked if LC:TR doesn’t clear $80M after six weeks.

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A Tale Of Two Companies

I don’t know if this one is funny or sad.

The Walt Disney Company will soon be announcing some major chances in their animation department. Seems the first day wide numbers for Atlantis has them ready to shut down the department entirely, the same way they did after The Fox and Hound. First off, the axe is expected to fall heaviest in the animation storyboard and development departments, as 500 workers will be out of a job in the coming weeks, those being pinkslipped will be personally chosen by Mr. Eisner himself. The remaining 1,400 or so will have the choice of being bought out of their contracts or accepting a 45% pay cut across the board, while the remaining work will be farmed out to places like Pixar to lower their overhead. Disney is also going to cancel 3 of the 7 animation projects they currently have on the board. Which ones haven’t been decided yet.

Meanwhile, my source over at Dreamworks tells me that they are planning not one but TWO Shrek sequels and a direct to DVD story of Isaiah full length animated feature.

Now, I wonder how in the hell that happened…